Poetry

"Mr. & Mrs. Kirchner Wedding"

In a garden adorned with petals and gold,
Two souls entwined, their destinies unfold.
Mr. Kirchner, a man of strength and grace,
Mrs. Kirchner, with elegance that lights up space.

Each step they take, a dance upon the earth,
Their love, a melody of infinite worth.
In the sunlight's embrace, their union ignites,
A tapestry of love, woven in moonlight.

With vows untouched, like whispers on the breeze,
They pledge their hearts, as lovers always seize.
Their hands, now clasped, eternally entwined,
Unified in love, their souls wholly aligned.

Through life's tempests, they find solace and calm,
Together, facing every storm with open arms.
Through joys and sorrows, they shall always claim,
A love so fierce, their hearts forever aflame.

In their eyes, a universe of dreams unfold,
Their love, a story waiting to be told.
For in this moment, where two hearts combine,
A symphony of love, forever intertwined.

Mr. and Mrs. Kirchner, as one they stand,
Bound by a love both tender and grand.
May their journey be filled with bliss and delight,
As they weave the tapestry of love, day and night.

In the realm of cosmic dance, two souls connect,
Bound by a thread of destiny, a love perfect,
They are the soulmates, the flames that ignite,
Together they journey, beyond day and night.

Aries, fierce and fiery, born with a bold flame,
Taurus, steadfast and earthy, rooted without shame,
In their union, a fusion of passion and strength,
A harmony weaves, miraculous at length.

In the depths of Aries' vibrant spirit, you'll find,
A warrior's heart, brave and wild, yet kind,
Taurus, with unwavering patience and grace,
An anchor amidst chaos, a stable embrace.

For they are the sparks that seek cosmic alignment,
A celestial dance, harmonious refinement,
Their souls intertwined, forever tightly bound,
United in purpose, in love's sacred ground.

Through the trials of life, they stand undeterred,
Their love growing deeper, with each lesson learned,
Together they conquer the mountains they face,
With love as their compass, hearts filled with grace.

Soulmates, twin flames, destined to unite,
An eternal flame burning ever so bright,
Aries and Taurus, a divine connection declared,
In this cosmic tapestry intricately shared.

"Depression sets in and I realize I may never be able to be with her again"

In the depths of despair, where shadows dwell,
Where sorrows gather and hope begins to quell,
There lies a truth that echoes in my core,
A painful realization, forevermore.

Depression sets in, with an icy grip so tight,
I yearn for her touch, for her radiant light,
But fate has woven a web I cannot defy,
And now I face a truth that makes me cry.

For once, in her arms, I found sweet solace,
A love that bloomed, a flame I couldn't erase,
But seasons changed, and distance wedged its way,
And now, I fear, our paths may never sway.

Oh, how my heart aches, as memories unfold,
Like fragile petals, so tender, so bold,
In the garden of love, we danced and we twirled,
Now reduced to fragments, a bittersweet swirl.

I'm left to wander through the corridors of the past,
Aching for a love that I know won't ever last,
Yet, in these poignant reflections, I find solace too,
For even in absence, her essence still shines through.

So let me bear this burden, for love's sweet sake,
Let me dive into depths, my heartache to slake,
For though I may never hold her hand once again,
I'll cherish the love we had, even in this painful refrain.

Depression may linger, and tears may freely flow,
But love's eternal flame shall continue to glow,
In the chambers of my heart, her memory shall reside,
A bittersweet reminder of love's enduring stride.

And perhaps, in some distant realm, we'll meet again,
Where fate's cruel twist can no longer restrain,
But until that day dawns, I'll tread through life's maze,
Embracing the memories, in a melancholy daze.

Life of an Entrepreneur

In the realm where dreams take flight,
Where vision meets unyielding might,
A tale unfolds, a soul’s refrain,
The life of an entrepreneur, untamed terrain.
Boldly venturing into the unknown,
They dance with chaos, a dance their own,
With ardor burning deep within,
They dare to dream, they dare to win.
A whirlwind journey, both joy and strife,
A testament to the human life,
They sow the seeds of endless creation,
Navigating uncharted revelation.
From humble beginnings, a spark ignites,
An idea conceived, a vision takes flight,
Through sleepless nights and tireless days,
They sculpt their destinies, in relentless ways.
For every triumph, a hundred falls,
Yet resilience prevails, ambition calls,
Through setbacks and obstacles that rise,
They learn to dance upon the prize.
The entrepreneur's path, a symphony,
With melodies of risk and possibility,
Each step a brushstroke, to carve their art,
A tapestry woven from a hopeful heart.
They meet the challenges with open arms,
Embrace the chaos, the world's alarms,
They fathom failure, yet never cease,
To chase their dreams with unwavering peace.
For in their souls burns an untamed fire,
A commitment that never will expire,
To forge a legacy, to make their mark,
In the labyrinth of life, a shining spark.
Oh, life of an entrepreneur, a passionate quest,Beyond the confines of comfort and rest,
With courage, determination in their stride,
They weave their dreams, with limitless pride.
So, let us celebrate their spirit true,
For they shape the world we journey through,
In the life of an entrepreneur, we see,
A testament to human capacity to be free.

Loneliness, You Can See It In My Eyes

You can see it in my eyes,
The ache that seems to paralyze.
A longing deep inside my heart,
That tears my being all apart.

How cruel it is to be alone,
To feel like you are on your own.
An emptiness that never fades,
A feeling that just seems to pervade.

I try to reach out, to connect,
But always seem to deflect.
The world just feels so far away,
And yet I long for someone to stay.

Oh, loneliness, a bitter pill,
A wound that just refuses to heal.
But deep inside, a flicker of hope,
Somehow, I will find a way to cope.

For though the world may still be cold,
My spirit will stay young and bold.
And even in the darkest night,
I'll find the strength to hold on tight.

Wish she'd miss me, I'm lonely

In darkness and silence I am wrapped,
My heart heavy, my mind trapped.
Lost in thoughts of her and what we had,
But now I'm just a ghost of what was once glad.

The space beside me now feels cold,
No warmth, no laughter, no stories told.
Just empty sheets and an echoing room,
My existence now blank, my life in a tomb.

Wish she'd miss me, I'm lonely,
Like a bird lost in flight, a sailor without a sea.
Hopeless and yearning, my soul aching,
For a love that was once mine for the taking.

The night sky's stars twinkle bright,
But in my world, only darkness and fright.
My heart shattered, my mind astray,
I pray for her return, the light of my day.

Wish she'd miss me, I'm lonely,
With each dawn that breaks, I'm left in agony.
For all the memories that we shared,
Now I'm alone with nothing to bear.

But in my dreams, I see her face,
Her loving eyes, her warm embrace.
And in those moments, I find my solace,
Praying for the day when we will come face-to-face.

Wish she'd miss me, I'm lonely,
But hope remains, for love cannot be only.
I'll wait for her, with open arms,
Ready to welcome her back, and heal all my scars.

HEROIN, MY OVERDOSE

Heroin, the devil's embrace,
A poisonous whisper in my ear.
The rush of euphoria was alluring,
Pulling me deeper into the fear.
A fatal game of surrender,
To a false sense of peace and calm.
My heart slowed to a dull throb,
As my breathing grew heavy and long.

A life once full of promise,
Lay shattered on the ground.
The venom of addiction,
Had left my soul tightly bound.
The pain of my loved ones echoes,
As they watched me slip away.
To a dark abyss of addiction,
With little chance of the light of day.
Oh, heroin, you cruel mistress,
Your disguise so easily worn.
Your fatal grip claiming souls,
Leaves countless broken hearts torn.

May this warning serve as a beacon,
To anyone whose tempted by your allure.
For once caught in your merciless trap,
There may be no escape for the insecure.

"Voices in my head, shouting so loud

Voices in my head, shouting so loud
They echo and reverberate like a thundercloud
Whispers of doubt and fear, they never cease
Too many to count, it's a battle to find peace

As each voice chimes in, the chorus grows
A cacophony of thoughts, highs and lows
Some speak of dreams and lofty goals
Others of pain and torture of the soul

It's hard to distinguish which is true
Which voice to follow, which to eschew
But in the end, one must find a way
To quiet the noise and not be led astray

So listen closely to the voice within
It's the one that knows where to begin
To slay the demons and find the light
To heal the wounds and win the fight

The voices may never disappear entirely
But with courage, faith, and unity
You can choose to mute or amplify
The voice that speaks of hope, courage, and why.

Heartache, single, Loneliness

Heartache
It feels like a weight on your chest,
An aching pain that won't let rest,
A longing for love that's left unmet,
A bitter taste that you can't forget.

Single
Alone in a world of couples and pairs,
It's hard not to feel like no one cares,
But solitude is not always bleak,
Sometimes it's a time to find oneself and seek.

Loneliness
A void that echoes in the soul,
An emptiness that takes a toll,
A longing for connection and touch,
A search for love that means so much.

But in these struggles, we must find hope,
A light to guide us up the slope,
For heartache, single-hood, and loneliness too,
Are merely but moments for us to renew.

Life is a mystery and i must stand alone

Life is a mystery, and I must stand alone,
Never knowing what the future will hold.
Dreams are my refuge, my own little zone,
Not knowing what path my journey will unfold.

The sun may rise and cast its golden light,
But I must still take a step in the dark.
The stars may shine and all the world is bright,
But I must still find a way to embark.

Life is a mystery, so I must keep searching,
Forging my own path to a better tomorrow.
I must keep believing, and never stop learning,
For this is the only way to follow.

Life is a mystery, I must stand alone,
But I can find solace in my dreams.
The future is uncertain, but I will never be alone,
For I will have strength to make it what it seems.

MY ADHD STRUGGLE

Amidst the chaos of my mind,
Where thoughts race faster than the wind,
I try to focus and stay on track,
But ADHD pulls me back.

The world around me becomes a blur,
As distractions pull at every stir,
I struggle to stay in the present,
My attention span is so transient.

It's hard to keep my mind at bay,
To stay on task and not stray,
But I hold on and persevere,
For I know my strengths are near.

I see the world in a unique way,
My mind, though scattered, has much to say,
I may struggle at times, it's true,
But with ADHD, I'll make it through.

So let the world spin and whirl around,
My ADHD may hit the ground,
But I'll rise up stronger, wiser too,
And show the world what ADHD can do.

TORTURED SOULS

Within the depths of troubled mind,
Where shadows roam unbridled free,
The tortured soul is left behind
To wrestle with his agony.

With every breath he takes a sigh,
And every thought that crosses by
Is plagued by endless sorrow's cry
That echoes through his fragile mind.

I burned her pictures forgetting the memories

I burned her pictures, forgetting the memories
Once so vivid and sweet, now all gone
I watched them curl and blacken in the heat
To forget all the wrong I had done

So many promises made, so many broken
The love we had so strong, now in ashes
The fire burned bright, filling the air with smoke
The pain of my heart, its ashes and ashes

I watched the pictures turn to ash
The memories of her smile, now so faint
The scent of her perfume, forever gone
The laughter never again to be heard in my presence

I turn away from the ashes in the fire
The memories of her, gone forever
I know the pain will stay with me
And I will never forget, never forget her

Bipolar

The highs and lows of life so strong
Are felt in every breath we take,
But mine are played on pan flute's song
A dance of light and dark's mistake.

I ride the waves of happiness
Then crash down to a darkened sea,
The weight of sadness on my chest
A burden that will never flee.

FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL

Borderline Personality Disorder, a maze of the mind,
A labyrinth of emotions, impossible to find
A whirlwind of feelings, a chaos inside,
A constant struggle to keep them all in line.

Uncontrollable thoughts, intense and extreme,
Weaving in and out of reality like a dream
One moment on top of the world and beyond,
The next feeling lost, empty, and withdrawn.

An intense fear of abandonment and rejection,
Leads to a desperate search for affection
A constant push and pull, hot and cold,
Creating a roller coaster ride that's hard to hold.

Relationships are often a source of pain,
Tangled webs of love, jealousy, and disdain
The fear of losing control, the fear of being alone,
A never-ending battle to keep the heart and mind strong.

But amidst the chaos, there's a flicker of hope,
A glimmer of light that helps us to cope
With therapy and support, we can find our way,
To a better life, with brighter days.

So let us not be defined by this disorder,
But rise above and conquer, be stronger
With courage and love, we'll overcome,
The struggles and pains, that once had us undone.

The heartbroken tortured soul does not sleep

The heartbroken tortured soul does not sleep
It's a pain that's too deep
The darkness it keeps

The tears flow so quick
The sadness so thick
The broken heart so sick

The hopelessness so deep
The loneliness so steep
The soul is in too deep

The emptiness so vast
The longing that lasts
The soul's been through the past

The pain so strong
The sorrow so long
The soul can no longer belong

The hope that's left is so frail
The future so pale
The heartbroken tortured soul does not sleep.

MY MENTAL DISORDERS

In the depths of the mind,
Lies chaos intertwined,
A maelstrom of thoughts and emotion,
An endless sea of inner commotion.

With Borderline Personality Disorder,
The heart is shattered and torn asunder,
A constant fear of abandonment,
Feeling lost in a world of refinement.

Depression descends like a heavy cloak,
A crushing weight that smothers and chokes,
A fog that envelops the mind and soul,
Leaving you feeling empty and alone.

Bipolar is a dance with extremes,
The highs and lows of life's grand themes,
A rollercoaster ride that never ends,
A constant struggle to find balance again.

Schizophrenia steals reality away,
A world of delusions in which you must stay,
Voices whispering in the darkest of nights,
A battle between sanity and inner fights.

ADHD is a wildfire without a name,
A constant restlessness that fuels the flame,
An unfocused mind that wanders and roams,
A never-ending search for a stable home.

These conditions are not who we are,
They do not define us or set the bar,
We are more than the sum of our parts,
We carry within us hope and beating hearts.

So hold on to the light, be strong and true,
No matter what you face, you will see it through,
You are a warrior, a fighter, a one of a kind,
And in this world, you will surely shine.

MY ADHD MIND RACES

A mind that races faster than light,
A soul that longs to soar up high.
A never-ending, endless flight,
A world of color that fills the sky.

For in this world, there is no rest,
No time to brood, no chance to slow.
And though the highs may be the best,
The lows can leave us feeling low.

But there is beauty in this chaos,
A gift that we should cherish so.
For with our minds, we can reshape the world,
And make it brighter than before.

HEARTBREAK, I DON'T BELIEVE IN LOVE ANYMORE
By: Aiden D. Kirchner

Heartbreak, I don't believe in love
My heart is hardened, like a stone
My faith in romance has been lost
I stand alone, on this empty coast

My heart has been broken too many times
I've seen the promises that never came true
So I must protect myself from more pain
And never again believe in love so true

My heart will stay empty and cold
Safely hidden away from the world
I must never be vulnerable again
And never again trust in love so bold

My heart has been battered and bruised
It's time I heal and move on
I will never again believe in love
And no longer be left broken and gone.

DEPRESSED MANIC BIPOLAR

A pendulum that swings,
A storm that rages within,
A soul that cannot find rest,
No matter where it's been.

A fire that burns bright,
A wild and reckless spark,
A mind that races with delight,
A journey through the dark.

A weight that drags you down,
A cloud that hides the light,
A battle fought without a sound,
A never-ending night.

Bipolar, Mania, Depressed,
They all make their claim,
Yet in the heart of every soul,
There burns a flicker of flame.

Hope, that shining beacon,
That breaks through darkest night,
It whispers of a better day,
And fills our hearts with light.

MY SCHIZOPHRENIC MIND BREAKS

A maze of thoughts and visions,
a mind lost in contradiction.
Voices whispering in the void,
alluring, as they are devoid.

The world implodes in lucid dreams,
behind the veil of reality it seems.
A struggle to stay rooted in the now,
as the mind breaks away, somehow.

Racing Thoughts in My ADHD Mind

A mind that races, a heart that beats,
a drum that echoes, in different beats.
The world moves fast, but never enough,
a thirst for life, that loves the rough.

A puzzle of thoughts, a mountain to climb,
a world to explore, without a rhyme.
Learning to harness, the energy within,
a superpower, that takes you to win.

THE VOICES LEAVE ME PARANOID

In the dark, a voice whispers to me,
Muttering secrets, pleading with me.
Paranoia creeps into my mind,
Bringing with it a chill they will never find.

Whispers and screams, echoes of past,
Chasing my thoughts, making them fast.
Voices who speak of love and hate,
A burden I carry, an unbearable weight.

These voices, they never leave me alone,
Trapped in their grasp, forever prone.
Schizophrenia, the hand that guides me,
Invisible demons that only I can see.

Trapped in my own world, I try to cope,
Haunted by visions, devoid of hope.
My soul aches for a touch of light,
But all I see is the endless night.

Paranoid, they say, but how would they know,
The torture I endure, the thoughts that flow.
Until the day my voice is set free,
I'll remain a prisoner to my own misery.

Manic Bipolar

Mania and bipolar

Two sides of the same coin

A whirlwind of emotions

The highs and lows we zone

Manic episodes take hold

Fueled by a frenzied mind

A creative energy unleashed

A rush that's hard to find

But then the darkness comes

As depression takes its grip

Days of endless sorrow

As we navigate this trip

Bipolar disorder doesn't define us

Though it shapes our every move

We find the strength to thrive

And the courage to improve

So let the world see us

As a person, not a label

We are more than our diagnosis

And our story is more than fable.

Psychopath, Empty, Soulless

Amidst the shadows of a darkened mind,
A psychopath's thoughts remain confined.
Their heart devoid of empathy,
A soulless being, they cannot see.

Empty vessels, they leave in their wake,
Taking joy in causing others to ache.
Their twisted pleasure, a game to play,
As they dance within their own decay.

With a hollow heart and deadened eyes,
Their existence a life of constant lies.
Forever searching for their next thrill,
A void they cannot ever truly fill.

Oh, the emptiness that consumes them whole,
For the psychopath, no peace for the soul.
A lost and lonely wandering soul,
Forever trapped in their self-created hole.

Love is just a lie, it is all pain and misery

In shadows deep, where darkness takes its hold,
There lies a tale of love, profound and bold.
Yet, words may paint a mask upon the face,
For love is but a riddle, in secret's embrace.

Love, a paradox, in its delicate guise,
An enigmatic force that sets hearts alight,
Yet hidden 'neath the surface, lies despair,
The pain and misery that love may bear.

In passion's throes, oh, how love's embers gleam,
Igniting hearts, as if in joy's sweet dream.
But as the flames rise high, so too the price,
The sting of tears and wounds, oh love's device.

For love is just a lie, an illusion's dance,
It paints a vivid picture with love's trance,
Yet in disappointment's grip, we often find,
That love can be a cruel, relentless bind.

The ache, the anguish, love's somber tune,
A melody of heartbreak played all too soon.
From moments cherished, to shattered dreams,
Love's bitter taste upon our soul it streams.

But should we turn away, and love forsake?
Give up on all the bonds that hearts may make?
Nay, dear friend, for love, in all its pain,
Holds power to transform, and heal again.

For though love may wound, it also gifts delight,
In tenderest embrace, it conjures feelings bright.
Through trials and through tears, we find our worth,
Discerning in that journey, love's true birth.

So let us not see love as pain alone,
But as a poignant tale, uniquely sown.
For love is but a lie, yet holds the key,
To growth, to grace, to boundless empathy.

In realizing love's duality, we see,
That pain and joy, entwined, shall ever be.
And though its path may bring us to our knees,
Love's intricate design, our souls appease.

"She said Yes.
I can't wait to make her my Wife"

Where dreams take flight,
A tender tale unfolds, bathed in delight.
With whispered words and hearts in sync,
Two souls entwined, on destiny's brink.

She said yes, a resounding burst,
A declaration of love, a moment immersed.
In shimmering starlight, beneath the moon's glow,
Their love blossomed, like petals in a row.

With eyes aglow and a heart so true,
He can't wait to make her his forever, anew.
Their spirits alight with a timeless flame,
Bound by love's symphony, they are one and the same.

Through trials and tribulations, hand-in-hand they'll stride,
Together, they'll face life's relentless tide.
In laughter, in tears, and in moments of fear,
Their souls intertwined, their love crystal clear.

With every beat, their hearts leap and dance,
A harmonious rhythm, an exquisite romance.
In whispers of affection, like a gentle breeze,
They'll build their future, piece by precious piece.

So let the world rejoice, let love take its course,
For in their union, magic finds its source.
With "I do" on their lips, their souls unite,
Forever bound, in love's celestial flight.

If I Died Tonight

If I died tonight, would my name be whispered,
In the somber darkness, where shadows restore,
Would tears fall like rain, from eyes that had missed,
The beating of a heart they'd so often adore?

If I died tonight, would laughter turn to silence,
As echoes of my laughter fade into the night,
Would memories paint portraits, vibrant and timeless,
Keeping my spirit alive, burning bright?

If I died tonight, would regrets claw at the door,
Of hearts left behind, burdened with remorse,
Would they seek solace in words left unsaid,
Longing for a chance, a moment to endorse?

If I died tonight, would the stars paint a tapestry,
With constellations formed in the shape of my dreams,
Would the moon sing a symphony, haunting and free,
In honor of a life that danced with moonbeams?

If I died tonight, would love blanket the world,
A balm for the souls that grieve my departure,
Would kindness rise like sprouting buds unfurled,
A testament to love's everlasting nurture?

If I died tonight, let it be a catalyst,
To cherish each breath, each fragile heartbeat,
For life's truest measure lies not in the vast,
But in the moments treasured, oh so sweet.

If I died tonight, let it be a reminder,
That life's fragile beauty should never be ignored,
That in every heartbeat, in every passing hour,
Lies the potential for a life fully adored.

Rise and Grind, Hustle Hard

In the early morn, as the aurora steals the night,
The world awakens with an ember's light.
Rise and grind, they echo in the restless air,
Hustle hard, for dreams await upon the stair.
The sleepers stir from their slumber's embrace,
As fiery passion sets their hearts ablaze.
With fiery hearts and minds that never tire,
They venture forth, fueled by fierce desire.
In quiet corners and bustling city streets,
A symphony of purpose, each heartbeat beats.
The grinding wheels of progress start to turn,
As dreams and hopes within our spirits burn.
With sleeves rolled up and sweat upon their brow,
They face the challenges, no matter how,
In every stride, a testament of might,
Their will unbowed, their ambition taking flight.
The roads they tread may be rugged and steep,
But in their eyes, the flame of dreams runs deep.
They know the toil, the scars that mark their skin,
For dreams are not won free, but fought to win.
For in the hustle, true strength is revealed,
The trials faced, the resilience concealed.
With relentless spirit, their will resounds,
Rise and grind, till every dream surrounds.
So let us heed the call, the poet's plea,
To rise and grind, to hustle ardently.
With courage in our hearts, we seek to find,
The verve and blaze that elevate mankind.
For in each dawn, a chance to start anew,
To turn our dreams to actions strong and true.
So rise with purpose, let every stride declare,
That in the hustle, we become aware.

Schizophrenic Maniac, Nightmares

In the dark, he lies awake
A mind consumed by constant ache
His thoughts, they come in restless waves
Ebbing, flowing, in an endless craze

Within his head, a battle rages
A war of fear that never fades
His mind, a labyrinth of pain
A place where nightmares are born and remain

The voices in his head they taunt
Whispers of horror and dark thoughts
He tries to resist, to fight his demons
But they pull him down, their grip unrelenting

A maniac, they call him in the light of day
But how can they know the price he pays?
For every moment of calm, a thousand more of strife
As he battles to hold on to his own life

And so he fights, this schizophrenic soul
Through the madness he must strive to hold
For in the nightmare of his own mind
He must find a way to leave it all behind.

Fake friends, never there for me

They smile and pretend, but they never truly care,
Those fake friends who only show up when it’s fair.
They come and go, at their own selfish whim,
Leaving me feeling alone and grim.

Their words are sweet, but their actions don’t match,
They vanish when the going gets tough, unattached.
No shoulders to cry on, no words of support,
Just empty promises that fall short.

I’ve learned to spot them from a mile away,
Those friends who only come out to play.
I’d rather have none than half-hearted ones,
With fake friends, I’m just wasting my time and funds.

So let them go, the fake ones that deceive,
I’ll find true friends who’ll never leave.
For in the end, the friends that truly care,
Are the ones who’ll always be there.

SELF DESTRUCTIVE BIPOLAR MANIAC

In the depths of my mind,
An internal war I find.
My thoughts are like a hurricane,
Throwing me in every direction and driving me insane.

I teeter between highs and lows,
One minute, I'm invincible, the next, I'm a lost soul.
My mood swings like a pendulum,
I can hardly keep up with the pendulum.

My emotions are intense,
It's like a roller coaster ride, relentless.
I feel like I'm losing control,
My sanity is slipping away, I'm losing my hold.

Each day is a battle I fight,
Trying to make it through without losing sight.
But sometimes the urge to self-destruct,
Is just too strong, and I give in without much thought.

My mind is a turbulent sea,
Bipolar, manic, an endless misery.
I'm always in search of a calm spot,
But the raging storm is all I've got.

So I ride the waves as best as I can,
Hoping that someday I'll find dry land.
Until then, I cling to hope,
And pray that my heart will still have the strength to cope.

Lonely and Tired of Life

Lonely and tired of life,
I wander aimlessly through the night.
No one to hold, no one to care,
I feel as if nobody is there.
The stars above twinkle bright,
But offer no comfort, no respite.
The wind howls a mournful tune,
Echoing my heart's lonely gloom.

I long for a shining light,
To guide me through this endless night.
A hand to hold, a friend to share,
Someone to show me that they care.
But for now I am alone,
In this darkness I must atone.
For the wounds that cut so deep,
And the memories I cannot keep.

Lonely and tired of life,
Yet I cling to the faintest hope.
That someday, someone will come
To ease this pain, and help me cope.

Depression

A heavy cloud descends my soul
And wraps me in its shroud of grey,
The thoughts that once were in control
Now seem to slowly fade away.

I feel so lost, so incomplete,
A stranger in my very skin,
My chest a place where pain will meet
The heart that's caved so deep within.

Schizophrenia

A world of shadows, voices heard
A life within my mind uncurled,
To those who say that I'm absurd
The truth is yet to be unfurled.

The whispers of the unseen few
Are louder than the world outside,
A world that's filled with point of view
And things that just don't coincide.

These tortured souls, with many names,
Are just like you and I in frame,
Their struggles aren't merely a game
But something none should ever blame.

My hands are bloody my heart shattered glass

My hands are bloody, my heart shattered glass
Once filled with love, now stained with blood alas
Torn and broken, nothing is the same
My life is left in hopelessness and shame

Memories of joy, are quickly fading
The future is bleak, no hope in sight
The pain of the past, is still prevailing
My heart is broken, I can't take the fight

The dreams I had, all turned to dust
My spirit is broken, my will is crushed
The tears I cry, fall endlessly
My hands are bloody, my heart shattered glass.

Depression Descends Upon Me

With every breath comes a weight,
A darkness that weighs heavy on the soul.
A cloud that blankets and suffocates,
A sadness that never seems to let go.

The world becomes a place of grey,
A place where joy is hard to find.
And though the sun may shine bright someday,
The pain within the heart remains confined.

But hope is not lost in this darkest hour,
For there is always light beyond the night.
And though the struggle may seem too much to bear,
With time and love, we can make things right.

SOLITUDE'S SONG

Alone I wander through paths unknown,
My shadow my constant company.
Silent steps, a tune monotone,
Endless echoes resound free.

The world in motion, life in sync,
Tranquility's hand embraces me.
No rush of crowds, no need to think,
Peaceful reverie, my destiny.

But still, a pang within my soul,
A whisper of longing in the air.
A desire for warmth to keep me whole,
A cry for someone, somewhere.

A fleeting thought, a hope in sight,
A search for love, a noble quest.
A journey to share, a heart's delight,
A hand to hold, a heart at rest.

For in this sea of empty waves,
A harbor of love I strive to find.
A haven for two, a home to save,
A love that heals, a peace of mind.

So here I stand, a solitary soul,
On the edge of hope and despair.
A leap of faith, my only goal,
To find that someone, beyond compare.

THE VOICES SCREAM SO LOUD

Voices whisper, screams abound
Echoes of a mind unbound
A symphony of discordant sound
Schizophrenia, lost and found

One voice or many?
Can it be real or just a fantasy?
A battle waged inside the mind
A war that seems impossible to define

Whispers turn to shouts
Reason gives way to doubt
Tears fall down like rainfall
As the voices continue to call

A life that's split in two
A nightmare that's all too true
The wounded soul cries out for release
From this torment that never seems to cease

Schizophrenia, a cruel fate
A world where reality and fantasy collide and mate
Voices, a constant intrusion
A struggle for mental constitution

May we show compassion and care
For those lost in the voices' snare
May we offer hope in the darkest night
As they struggle in the labyrinthine fight.

I walk this lonely dark path alone

I walk this lonely dark path alone
My feet are tired and my heart is worn
I'm searching for a glimmer of hope
But all I see is a sea of shadows

I look for a sign of the sun
But the moonlight is all that's seen
The darkness taunts me with its cold embrace
As I search for a way to break this place

The despair is so strong, it takes my breath away
But I keep going despite what may be
For I know I must find a way to make it through
To a better place, where I'll start anew

This lonely dark path may take its toll
But I have faith I'll make it through
And when I'm done, I will be better and stronger
This is the price I must pay for my freedom.

MY BIPOLAR SWINGS OUT OF CONTROL

A pendulum that swings with no control,
From highs to lows, and back again.
A mind consumed by endless woes,
A constant struggle that never ends.

For in this cycle, there is no cure,
No remedy to still the rage within.
And though at times, the world is pure,
The darkness always seems to win.

But we must hold onto our strength,
And find the power to break free.
To find a way to channel this energy,
And let our spirits soar for all to see.

THE TORTURED MIND OF A DEPRESSED SOUL

Depression seeps into my bones,
An unwelcome guest that never leaves
It blurs my vision, dulls my senses
And robs me of my peace.

Like a torturous monster in my mind,
It taunts and teases mercilessly
It drags me into a dark abyss
And leaves me there to suffer endlessly.

It steals my hope and happiness,
And makes me feel so numb and lost
It shackles me with chains unseen
And counts the days at any cost.

Depression is a prison I can't escape
No matter how much I try
It takes its toll on me each day
And makes it hard to live or die.

But still, I hold onto a flicker of light
A ray of hope beyond the gray
Knowing that in the end, I'll rise
And leave the tormenting monster far away.

Forget love, I've been hurt too many times before
By: Aiden D. Kirchner

Forget love, I've been hurt too many times before,
And so I'm scared to try it once more,
I'm done with giving my heart away,
For my emotions I will no longer pay.

I've been broken, torn apart,
My soul and heart forever scarred,
The pain and hurt have taken root,
And now I just stay mute.

Love was never meant for me,
So I'm done with this fantasy,
My trust is broken, I can't mend,
And so my heart will never bend.

Forget love, I've been through too much pain,
This emotion will forever remain,
My heart is frozen, my soul is numb,
And I'll never again succumb.

THE STORM OF EMOTIONS FROM BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISODER

A storm of emotions within my soul,
A tempest of feelings I cannot control,
From one moment to the next I sway,
Never knowing how I'll feel today.

My mind is a battlefield, a constant war,
Each emotion a soldier, each fighting for more,
More attention, more love, more care,
And I am the victim, caught in despair.

My moods shift like the tide does the shore,
Unpredictable, unsteady, I cannot ignore,
The pain that I feel, the emptiness inside,
As I struggle to keep all my emotions in stride.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane,
My thoughts so jumbled, they cause me great pain,
But I know that I'll make it through,
With strength, with courage, and with you.

So when you see me struggle and fight,
Just know that I am doing what's right,
To learn to live with this disorder of mine,
And to find a way to thrive and shine.

SCHIZOPHRENIA CHAOS

A world of chaos that reigns supreme,
A mind that is its own enemy.
Voices that whisper, eyes that gleam,
A sense of reality that's hard to see.

For in this realm, there is no truth,
No way to gauge what's right or wrong.
And though we may strive for proof,
The world around us remains a song.

But within the noise, there is a voice,
A guiding light that can set us free.
And though the road may be tough and steep,
With love and hope, we can break free.

AN EMPTINESS OF DEPRESSION

A blanket of sadness, that covers it all,
an emptiness deep, and screaming call.
A longing for light, in a sea of dark,
a battle of souls, that leaves a mark.

Alone in a crowd, a voiceless scream,
a craving for life, but just a dream.
The heart feels heavy, the mind is numb,
a search for hope, when it feels so dumb.

BIPOLAR TORNADO

A dance between the highs and lows,
a fire that burns, but never slows.
A tornado in a peaceful mind,
a wild ride, that leaves one behind.

The sun shines bright, but suddenly fades,
a rollercoaster that never abates.
Invisible chains that drag one down,
a constant battle, that wears one's crown.

Borderline Turmoil with a Mind That Never Sleeps

A soul in constant turmoil,
A heart that never sleeps,
A mind that's always racing,
And emotions that run deep.

Days filled with highs and lows,
A rollercoaster ride of feelings,
Where every little trigger,
Can set off a storm of dealings.

A desperate need for love,
Combined with a fear of rejection,
Leads to unstable relationships,
And constant inner reflection.

The world seems so overwhelming,
And relationships so hard to keep,
Caught in a constant battle,
With the demons we try to defeat.

People with BPD feel so much,
And yet sometimes nothing at all,
Torn between love and anger,
Holding on, afraid to fall.

It's not easy to live with,
This mental health disorder so profound,
But with therapy and self-care,
We can find balance and solid ground.

So let us be kind and understanding,
To those who face this fight,
For they are warriors with a story,
And their souls shine bright.

EMPTY, COLD, BROKEN AND LOST

Empty, cold, broken and lost
Like a ship out at sea, tempest-tossed
Without a compass, without direction
Driven by winds of doubt and deception

The heart is a ship that needs a guide
To navigate through the storms inside
But when the compass is broken, and the winds rage
The ship is adrift, a prisoner of its own cage

Empty like a desert, where no water flows
No oasis in sight, no relief from woes
Cold like the winter, when the fire dies
Leaving the soul in a state of demise

Broken like glass, smashed into fragments
The pieces of the heart, a puzzle to be mended
Lost like a traveler, in an unknown land
Getting farther and farther from what was once grand

Yet amidst the emptiness, and the cold and the pain
There's a glimmer of hope, a chance to gain
Light from the darkness, warmth from the cold
Strength from the brokenness, to rise and unfold

So, let us not despair, or let our hearts be tossed
For we have the power to find what once was lost
Let us gather the pieces, let us mend what is broken
And set sail once again, with a heart that's awoken.

Lonely, depressed, sad, despair, sadness, unhappy

Amidst the dark and dreary night,
A soul wanders all alone in sight,
Heavy heart and burdened mind,
Loneliness, depression, all intertwined.

The tears that flow from weary eyes,
Speak of sadness, no need for lies,
The mere existence feels cursed and vain,
Happiness, joy, all feels inane.

The weight of the world upon the soul,
Anchored down, in an endless hole,
Despair and gloom consume the heart,
Piercing through like a poisoned dart.

But even in the depths of the sorrow,
There's a glimmer of hope for tomorrow,
For every darkness must have an end,
And every broken heart, a chance to mend.

So take courage, dear troubled soul,
For life's journey is not just a solitary stroll,
And though today may seem bleak,
The dawn shall come, and joy you'll seek.

Fuck love, I don't trust anymore

In the depths of a weary heart, I write,
A tale of love's sweet deception, once pure,
But now a fragile flame shrouded in doubt's night,
Fuck love, I don't trust anymore.

Once enchanted by its tender embrace,
I danced upon the clouds, blissfully soaring,
But now, shattered dreams I silently chase,
Love's crimson tapestry, now torn and warping.

For what illusion is this fragile thing,
That promises solace, yet breeds despair?
A source of joy, but also suffering,
Betrayal's venom, now hardened and unfair.

Oh, love, your promises whispered in vain,
As trust, like shattered glass, falls to the floor,
I mourn the innocence lost, like autumn's wane,
Fuck love, I don't trust anymore.

Yet still, a ember glows deep within me,
Yearning for a love pure and true,
Though wounded, I refuse to let it flee,
For hope's fragile strength runs through and through.

So I shall mend the pieces of my heart,
With delicate hands, I'll thread love's frayed seams,
And in the darkness, light's glimmer shall start,
To trust once more, and rediscover dreams.

Through pain and sorrow that once held me tight,
I'll rise anew, with formidable score,
For love's resilience shall strike back in spite,
Fuck love, but trust anew, forevermore.

MY DRUG ADDICTION STORY

In the shadowed corners of a weary soul,
A tragic tale of addiction does unfold
Like a tempest's grip, it tightens day by day,
A dance with demons, where hope begins to sway.

Once a vibrant spirit, now lost in the haze,
A whisper of anguish, a relentless maze.
Through tear-stained eyes, the world becomes a blur,
The searching heart, longing for a cure.

In veins entwined, the venomous chains entice,
A cruel seduction, a haunting sacrifice.
Each throbbing heartbeat, a battle yet fought,
As the siren's call drowns out reason's thought.

Oh, the allure of a fleeting escape,
As reality's grip begins to reshape.
The tingling rush, a momentary bliss,
Burying the pain, a tender, stolen kiss.

But oh, what a price this fragile soul pays,
A fading ember, ablaze in a desperate haze.
Lost dreams and shattered promises lie in its wake,
As the spirit withers, stifled by a toxic ache.

Yet amidst the wreckage, a flicker of light,
A sliver of hope, shining through the night.
When darkness seems eternal, a hand reaches out,
An anchor of love dispelling shadows of doubt.

To those who struggle, hear this poet's plea,
You are not defined by your addiction's decree.
In your journey's depths, remember you're not alone,
There's beauty in redemption, seeds of strength yet sown.

For every broken heart yearning to mend,
A story of resilience, waiting to transcend.
With the power of love and a spirit reborn,
Your battle scars shall guide you, like wings newly worn.

So rise, dear soul, from the depths that bind,
Unfurl your wings, let your spirit unwind.
Embrace the healing, embrace the fight,
Illuminate the darkness with your eternal light.

I have a self destructive way
Of going about things
Impulsive, impatient and
just don’t give a fuck
And so I poured the gasoline on myself
And lit the mother fucker on fire
That was my only desire
Because I am self-destructive
And I wanted to watch the world burn
I’m self destructive
And I’m about to erupt #aidenkirchner #aidenkirchnerpoetry

You're like snow,
Beautiful but cold.

Do no harm, but take no shit
Preach love, not hate
Promote peace, not violence
Wish no other ill
What you put out, you get back
Seek inner peace
Let in good Karma and positive thoughts
Refuse bad Karma and negative thoughts

Broken Wings and Shattered Hearts

I want to get away
and be with the angels in the sky
but my wings are broken
they are not made to fly
I can not get to heaven
on two broken wings
and I can't wait around
for what tomorrow brings
consider me an angel
stuck in my own hell
the tattered wings are memories
of every time I fell
Heaven is just a dream away
Something I hope is real
Trying to keep pushing on
hoping these wounds will heal
I wish I was born with perfect wings
But nothing goes how I want in life
Always feels like I am going nowhere
except heading into strife
please don't expect much from me
my halo's tarnished and my wing's are torn
a rose may seem so beautiful
but when it dies, it's only thorns

HEROIN ADDICT

Its a dark world without your light
Without your darkness, too
Hope your darkness isn't too dark for you
A heart that's been heavy, overloaded with
regrets and promises not kept
I know more was meant for me and for you
I write this to you so that maybe you'll know,
why I choose what I do
I hope that your happiness,
it's briefness but it's frequency
keeps you at the top of the world
you want to be in and leads to less pain than yesterday
I can't crush that for you anymore
My good intentions lead to nowhere
I burn what I crave
My desperate soul searches endlessly for the answer
to the ever old question you ask,
what is the meaning of life?

My love, my burning passion, the eloquence you've etched in my heart
ever there but fainter than before
slipping sadly beyond the denial of my own shortcomings

The darkness shadows my soul
while your soul gets overshadowed
The light at the end of the tunnel seems father away than I'd planned
I wish you love always
You're an angel led astray
And I know you will reach up to hold God's hand

INSIDE MY HEAD

I want to kill
what's inside my head
There's someone in my head
but it's not me.
I evicted that person
and put a sign up
that says no available space!

SCATTERED THOUGHTS

For even Satan disguises
himself as an angel of light
We drink the poison our
minds pour us
and wonder why
we feel so sick
You won't like me
when I'm Psychoanalyzed
Are you insane
like me?
We're all addicted
to something that
take the pain away
Depression is like a war
you either win
or die trying
There are poems inside of me
that paper can't handle
Don't die
with your song
still inside of you

SCHIZY HEAD

Acid burning through my veins,
black ice of the freezing dark.
Death... no, worse than death
the annulment of all thought.
This is surely what Artaud knew.
The scar tissue of my mind
is struggling to know, but failing
till all that's left is the blackness.
How many ways i could be betrayed ?
Surrounded by piranhas of dementia,
torn to pieces and reassembled so neatly.
This singularity of pain is eternal.
I hold my head in hands at the table.
Will others see and judge my despair?
They impose a million categories on my formlessness
the unsorted shoehorned into a grand scheme
but this mandala only impoverishes
in specialisation things have turned rancid
the necessary performances of life rankle
i don't want to have to project myself any more
passion is fading, spontaneity waning
I'll be left with the drama
but as the actor my heart's not in it
or that sudden inexplicable shame will appear...
it's one of my hallmarks.
A confidence trickster have I become,
lying about my social definition,
the eternally alienated.
My spew has become a novel
yes, vomitus a poem
the natural is filthy to the critics
yet i embellish my root truths with curliques
and hope for appreciation.
i have seen the uniqueness of my karma
and know how to tell the story of my satori
Cain's unique mark upon the brow
i am fascinated by the imprint of experience
i want to grok true complexity
(it's in my life right now, I find)
the purity of irrationals has fascinated me,
endless varying detail going by such a simple name
the bottomlessness of a numeric rabbit hole
when i look to the horizon i see that kind of richness
varying slices of greying land
i learn to love the detail
a zoomable backdrop of kentish fields.
opiates, end of hope for happiness
sweet and getting sweeter
but they gray out bits of self
like unreachable landscapes
Can you have too much comfort ?
heroin seems definitely like that
Steve has sold his stoicism
morphing himself into compromise
One cigarette a symbol of surrender
i follow in his path briefly
Psychedelics too are so crude.
random splatters upon the self's canvas
i want poetic sensibility
experience and emotion
not just to be intoxicated
but ever do I ply myself with this stuff
compulsively, as if it is medicine
I wait for history to unfold
I want the singularity to come
I find new disciplines each hour
observing the creep of advancing tech
opening mind ever wider
using the wonder for more motivation
shattering the ice of consciousness
dutifully reading science news
cursing my poverty
not of finance but of thought
waiting for Pete to comment
grinding against these smooth boulders my limits
The confines of neurotransmitter balance
doing my best to let the cares wash away like glacier milk
i am a wounded scientist
crippled i stumble through a landscape of unfinished equations
the detritus of a lack of diligence is strewn here
i have even turned to God at times
breaking the empirical law in desperation
but, impoverished, my imagination flits from one shallowness to another
I never get to hold my truths for long.
or are we all like this ?
have i been duped that i am ill ?
yes this is a familiar thought too
not madness but the human condition,
universally unsatisfactory.
I must plough on through the snow
breaking the trail is so hard.
But give me a year
and i'll have covered miles...
give me some fuel,
and I'll hoist myself to the top of a hill,
look down at the pedestrians
and know it's still all worthwhile.

CHOKING ON RED & BLACK

Asphyxiation from the ever clinging fog
Suffocated by the hatred for myself
Lost and alone, empty-handed

The guilt sneaking up to smother me
It's all gone black
In this abyss I am stranded

Disengaged from thought, I will bleed
Longing for the great release
Wash away the shattered dreams

Yielding the parasitic memories
Slits producing equanimity
Wounds serving as screams

These ample scars, landmarks
My map of sin expanding
A destination will never be met

Imprisoned by this mechanism
When the darkness bares down
I'll punish myself to forget

Drawing by Shawn Cross

CRAZY

Trapped inside my own head
With nothing but my own fevered dreams to comfort me
I know the pain of the madman
He lives inside of me
I've felt the strength of demons
And the weakness of self- preservation
And hope. Hope
Hey, parents, do you know where your kids are tonight?
Are they locked away inside of themselves?
Are their minds slipping away?
Mama hen, mama hen
The fox has taken your baby again
Precious minds are a shame to waste
Memories are forgotten in haste
I am losing all that is me
Yet gaining something entirely different
Something that acts like an animal
And speaks like God
Comforts me like a best friend
And loves me like its child
I am its child
An innocent brat, ready for its teachings
Ready to do what is told to me
Believing all that is said to me
Taking in all
And living off of my fevered dreams

DARKNESS

I'm swimming all alone in a pool of darkness
and I feel like darkness is slowly pulling me under
I yell for help but no one is there to hear it
I begin to see the water at eye level
and I kick and flail
fighting to stay above the darkness
But the darkness won't let go of its hold on me
and I slowly begin to give in
to the feeling that lies below the water line
the waters starts to fill my lungs
the lungs that once held so much life
yet now they allow the murky water to replace that
I know that this path doesn't lead to happiness
But why doesn't someone grab my hand
pull me from darkness's grasp?
because no one knows I stand at the boundary
the boundary between light and dark
so I give in to the thing that holds me
All of the strength and all of the courage
that I once held in my heart
can't save me from the water
So I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousness
undetected by the occupants of that world
I don't want to fight anymore
I've given into darkness

LOVE IS HARD

Stay away from people
who make you feel like you are hard to love. You have to make sure that you have someone by your side that wants to be there.
Someone who wants to support you,
and encourage you.
Someone who gives you
just as much effort as you give them.
Because there are difficult things in life,
really hard and haunted things
that make it heavy and hurtful at times.
But love should not be one of those things. Love should hold your hand
and help you brave those storms.
Love should be your safe place.
So please,
just don't give the best parts of yourself
to someone who doesn't see the value in what they are receiving.
Don't settle for anyone who doesn't look at you and know,
without hesitation,
that they want to stay.

“ALONE” BY: AIDEN D KIRCHNER

Alone by herself
She built the empire that she wanted
Being alone has a power that very few people can handle
I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone--
It’s not
The worst thing in life is to end up with
People that make you feel alone
The most precious gift you can give
Someone is the gift of your time and attention
Choose people, who choose you
Remember this, the right person will never get tired of you
Never regret being a good person, to the wrong people
Your behavior says everything about you, and their behavior says everything about them
There’s a message in the ways person treats you, just listen
Sometimes it’s better to just let things be,
Let people go,
Don’t fight for closure,
Don’t ask for explanations,
Don’t chase answers
And don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from
One day someone will ask me,
What made you stop believing in love,
And I’ll almost choke on your name #poetry #poetsofinstagram #lesbianpoetry #lesbianpoet #letgo

My Schizophrenic Mental Illness Tortures My Soul

I cannot escape the voices in my head,
They fill me with dread, making me fear the bed.
My tortured soul feels like it's been split in two,
Schizophrenia takes over, making me feel so blue.

This mental illness is a constant fight,
A struggle I face both day and night.
It steals my happiness, leaving me in despair,
I try to hold on tight, but it just doesn't seem fair.

The voices in my head shout and scream,
It's like a never-ending, terrifying dream.
I try to push them away, to silence the sound,
But they always come back, so loud and profound.

My mind is a battleground, a constant war,
And it's so exhausting; I can't take it anymore.
But I'll keep on fighting, and maybe someday,
I'll find the peace and the solace to make it all go away.

THE ADHD CHAOS REIGNS

In my mind, chaos reigns,
ADHD makes it hard to remain,
Focused, on task, I try my best,
But my racing thoughts won't let me rest.

Anxiety grips me, tight and firm,
Making my heart race, my stomach churn,
Panic attacks strike at any hour,
Leaving me feeling drained and sour.

Mental illness, a weight to bear,
A constant struggle, a silent snare,
But I won't let it defeat me,
I'll keep fighting, tirelessly.

I'll seek out help, reach for support,
And together, we'll make it to port,
In this sea of uncertainty,
We'll find a way to set our minds free.

MY ANXIETY AND BIPOLAR DISORDER

Bipolar is a tricky thing,
Sometimes it's like a swing.
One moment you're high as a kite,
The next, you're feeling contrite.

Pills can help to balance the mood,
But sometimes they can be rude.
Side effects can make you feel rough,
Just when you thought enough is enough.

Anxiety is a constant in the mix,
It can be hard to find a fix.
Deep breaths and calming techniques,
Can help to soothe the anxious physique.

Mental illness is not a choice,
It's something that can steal your voice.
But with support and understanding,
We can keep our feet on solid landing.

CUPID'S BULLETS

Heartache causes pains unspoken
you wished you weren't so open
the wound is still smoking
from the bullets that sprung from Cupid's gun
wished three words you hadn't spoken
tears dropped from your eyes like the ocean's tide
all bullshit aside seemed like it'd be forever
until the tears dried
or you put aside your pride
gave love's train another ride
in the back of your mind
hoping you'll glide
instead of sliding into a ditch
yeah, love's a bitch, but you still love her
you still think of her
and the scars that she leaves behind
make it hard for you to shove her
into the corner's of your mind

DEATH

Around, all around the dark memories
my dread grows as the dagger of your words
fall against my naked soul
It mutilates me
and darkly my essence drips to the wicked earth that is my prison
In my madness I cry out, Why!
While death's shadow surrounds me
now alone, my soul falls upon cold eyes
This is my hell

COLDNESS IN MY EYES

I wrote this after I got out of the Army and before I was on medication.

You felt the coldness in my eyes
Though you've gotten used to me not hiding
I have my reasons
You didn't listen to me
You think I am fine
You'll change your mind
When someone dies
I hide in the dark
Hide behind the shadows

Going to reveal the pain that i never show
There will be blood on my hands
Don't make me lose it tonight
I don't want to kill, it just wouldn't be right
I sit there and listen to what you're saying
I think you don't know what the hell you're talking about
I don't tell you everything because I shouldn't have to

But you'll understand when someone dies
You'll realize you were wrong
When someone becomes so disfigured
You will feel the pain that I never show
Then you will understand, you will know

I don't tell you what's really going on
I put on this facade
I am hiding behind this pain tonight
I am fine until you make me break
You can sit there & pretend everything is okay
This is the me I let you see
I have my reasons to hide behind this mask

Going to reveal the pain that i never show
There will be blood on my hands
Don't make me lose it tonight
I don't want to kill, it just wouldn't be right
I sit there and listen to what you're saying
I think you don't know what the hell you're talking about
I don't tell you everything because I shouldn't have to

But you'll understand when someone dies
You'll realize you were wrong
When someone becomes so disfigured
You will feel the pain that I never show
Then you will understand, you will know

ACUTE SCHIZOPHRENIA PARANOIA BLUES

I’m too terrified to walk out of my own front door,
They’re demonstrating outside I think they’re gonna start the third world war,
I’ve been to my local head shrinker,
To help classify my disease,
He said it’s one of the cases of acute schizophrenia he sees.
Well the milkman’s a spy, and the grocer keeps on following me,
And the woman next door’s an undercover for the k.g.b.,
And the man from the social security
Keeps on invading my privacy,
Oh there ain’t no cure for acute schizophrenia disease.

I’ve got acute schizophrenia paranoia too,
Schizophrenia, schizophrenia,
I’ve got it, you’ve got it, we can’t lose,
Acute schizophrenia blues.

I’m lost on the river, the river of no return,
I can’t make decisions, I don’t know which way I’m gonna turn,
Even my old dad, lost some of the best friends he ever had,
Apparently, his was a case of acute schizophrenia too.

I got acute schizophrenia paranoia too,
Schizophrenia, schizophrenia,
I’ve got it, you’ve got it, we can’t lose,
Acute schizophrenia blues,

They’re watching my house and they’re tapping my telephone,
I can’t trust nobody, but I’m much too scared to be on my own
And the income tax collector’s got his beady eye on me,
Oh there ain’t no cure for acute schizophrenia disease.

No there ain’t no cure for
Schizophrenia disease.

PAIN AND DESPAIR

I fly so high
So high into the sky
I can touch the stars
Maybe one day wipe the scars
Bleed away the romance

Always laugh & dance
Sing a song tonight
A song for the broken-hearted
The young & departed
I'll whisper my sins away

it’s late now I cannot stay
There'll come a time
A time when you can look back & understand
Life is what you make it

made my choice
Sing a song
It’ll be the story of my life
A life lived in pain & despair

I never asked for it to turn out this way
Just remember I love you
You'll understand life another day
Tonight close your eyes

Whisper your sins away
It’s my day
Lose your eyes
Have no fear
It’ll take you under
You’re under its spell now
Tighten your arm

Clench your fist
It’ll make you float
You'll take a risk
This is the life I chose
So you choose yours wiser

have a good life
Because you only get one chance to make it right
Live or die or put up a fight

It numbs the pain
but you’re numb & that’s all you've ever felt
This is your life
These were the cards you were dealt
Afraid to sleep, afraid to dream

life isn't what it seemed
Tears fill your eyes with such pain
Inside your head it will always rain
Screams of pain & screams of fear

inside your head
That’s all you ever hear
Love you now
Loved you than
Will love you forever
Love in death

Sins of my past now washed away
Sleep to dream
So you can be a nightmare in my sleep
Wake up sweating
It'll overcome you

I lived a good life
But this is goodbye
My eyes have sunk in
This is where it ends

they are dark like coal
So black and gray
This is it
This is the day

ANGEL OF DARKNESS PULL ME UNDER

Angel Of Darkness
Take Me Away
Away From This Life
Away From This Pain
Pull Me Deep Under
To A Place I Can Hide
A Place Like No Other
A Place I Can Die.
Wrapped In Your Wings
So Tight I Can't Breath
Alone In This Darkness
No One Can Hear My Screams

Somebody Save Me
Somebody Help Me
I Don't Want To Die Tonight

I Just Want The Pain To Go Away
Nothing Can Stop This Blood loss
And The Razor Lies In The Bathroom Sink

Screaming On The Inside

Screaming on the inside,
screaming and no one can hear me
I'm often silent
when screaming on the inside
I feel like I'm screaming inside all the time
Like my soul is screaming in pain,
but I have to pretend I don't hear it
Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped inside myself
I'm screaming and yelling
but no one can hear me
I am frail and withered
Cover up the wounds that I can't hide
Running from the crazy inside my head
I'm just screaming on the inside,
and no one can hear me

DARKENED CIGARETTES

Alone, in front of the expanse of black,
Light from the side but faith no more,
A moment to ponder before I crack,
And I reach for the pain without a sore.

It eludes me, that devious and sly thought,
Leaving the notion of immense disease,
A smile - receiving the item that I sought,
But it's a lie - I'm brought to my knees.

One, the sender, blinks and turns away,
Finding solace in personal deceptions,
Letting this helpless being cry and stray,
Upon the brink of futile conceptions.

Once - just maybe - there had been the rose,
Impish grins shining to respond in aluminum,
But the heart - it feels what the mind knows,
Sensing pain in edifices and a small crumb.

Falling, now, with no signs of stopping known,
Occasional hints with the facade of light to see,
Snapping and breaking every single bone,
Yet one would see an untouched body.

Light - the purifying source of all knowledge and lies,
Those Mundane objects re-attaching mortal debts,
Here - no, perhaps there, light returns and deeply sighs,
Streaming the curling smoke of darkened cigarettes.

TORTURED SOULS

The changing began,
As dooms scythe pierces
My darkened soul, my cascade
Of tears fall upon howling eyes
Stop! Stop!
We are the fallen ones
Our mind a destructive playground
Walk around the halls & you'll see the namesof the tortured souls
Could this be the antichrist, following us
We walk around with chains bound to our bodies
Like slaves commanded by Satan
Razor sharp knives pierce our bodies
As Satan commands us what to do like soldiers in the army
We've reached the darkest part of our tortured souls
There's a hole in our hearts that seeps from our chests
Bound and gagged, sliced and torn
We are tortured souls, living in this hell
When Satan demands we become obsessed and possessed
By our fears not to let him go
We are tortured souls living life in a manic aggression
We are weak human beings, brought to this earth
By Satan, he works through our eyes, we are his slaves
We are the tortured souls, we scream in pain
Hell crushing flames shine through the darkness
Satan's demons attack us with deadly demonic wrath
As we realize we have sinned, this is our punishment
We are tortured souls who look deep down in the black pits Of our hearts, delivering Satans sinister message of doom
We are tortured souls

DESTINED TO BE ALONE

I think I am destined to be alone
My heart has grown cold
And I'm getting old
My heart can take no more
Neither can my soul
And I'm growing old
Too old for this shit
I need to numb the pain
Before I go insane
Inside my brain
Anything to ease the pain
because inside my head
there's only rain
A fierce, maddening storm
brewing through my mind

A Tortured Schizophrenic Soul

A tortured soul, lost in fear
Schizophrenia's grip is clear
The mind a labyrinth, twisted and dark
A constant battle, no easy mark

The voices whisper and shout
Telling secrets, spinning doubt
Isolation, confusion, despair
Mental illness, a heavy cross to bear

The struggle is real, but often unseen
External calm, inside the storm is keen
Medication, therapy, but no real cure
Schizophrenia, a lifelong endure

A tortured soul, seeking peace
Release from the grip of this disease
Hope and faith, a guiding light
To live again, to find delight.

My ADHD

ADHD, ADHD, my thoughts won't let me be
Inattentive, hyperactive, and impulsive, that's me
I fidget and squirm, always on the go
My mind races, never going slow

I struggle to focus, my attention wanders away
People think I'm lazy, but that's not what I portray
I'm just wired a bit differently than the rest
Always searching for excitement, never settling for less

My impulsivity can lead me down the wrong track
But I'm not giving up, I'll never turn back
With medication and therapy, I can succeed
ADHD may be a challenge, but it's not all I need

So don't judge me based on what you see
I'm more than just my ADHD
I'm creative, curious, and full of life
With love and support, I can overcome any strife.

COPING WITH MY MENTAL ILLNESS

In my mind there's constant strife,
Bipolar disorder ruling my life.
Pills after pills, seeking relief,
But my anxiety, it's beyond belief.

Mental illness, a heavy burden to bear,
A never-ending battle, so unfair.
I try to numb the pain, get high,
But the darkness creeps in, I can't deny.

Schizophrenia, a monster in my mind,
Makes me question what's real and what's a lie.
But in the end, I keep on fighting,
My will to survive, it's endlessly exciting.

I won't let these illnesses bring me down,
I'll keep on pushing, will not drown.
I'll rise above, and break free,
From the shackles that bind me.

I fought the war
I fought the war
I fought the war
But the war won
I fought the demons inside my head
But the demons won

Shaking hands with the
Dark parts of my thoughts
As I lay here in bed
Trying to drift off to sleep
And wander into the nightmares
That creep around in my head

HEROIN II

I can see the heroin leaking from your eyes,
teasing your cheekbones with glittering demise,
licking your lips and tasting your sin,
savoring your disease purging from within,
cut away infection inside your holy word,
rectify your crucifix into a frozen blur,
choking on a broken God smothered in the smoke,
bathing with the hedonist, the wintness I revoke,
Salvation from divinity is stifled in your cries,
it appears as if our heroine is leaking from her eyes

HEROIN

Death is a rider on a pale horse, honey
Yeah roll up your sleeve and yeah lay down your money
Death is a ride on a pale horse

A cord around your arm and the needle hurts your vein
You'll starve in your dreams with the lotus in your brain
Death is a rider on a pale horse

There's blood in your eyes, and your time's not free
Selling it like that will you HIV
Death is a rider on a pale horse

Death is a ride on a pale horse, honey
Yeah roll up your sleeve and yeah lay down your money
Yeah death is a ride on a pale horse

SCHIZO-PARANOIA

Echoes whisper--voices freeze
ashes of insanity.
Pain expressed in silhouettes
a shadow of disfigurement.

Darkness sets on desolation,
beating, clawing for escape.
He screams for help, please let me out
stop these walls from closing in.

Reflection hazed and dimming life
through sparks of rage and shining silver.
Winding, drowning in the screams--
crimson streaks and splattered scenes.

Heavy breathing--demons chime
twisting through this desparation.
Vitality through mangled flesh,
chewing bone and fatty tissue.

Lullabies of darkened rhymes are
etched inside his fragile mind.
Spiraling into damnation--
hollowed soul of resurrection.

Flesh is sliced--a violent rape
victims of defilement.
Bound and gagged--innards bled
a struggle for their sanity.

Lost on trails of misty gloom,
branches scratch and dig at skin.
Tears of rain midst shrouded tombs,
their throats are cut near burials.

Sacrificial mutilation,
schizophrenics laugh and play.
Murder weapon of their choice that
causes so much agony.

Inside the head of paranoia,
laughing, stalked by demon pleas.
Crying, slashing at the beast,
a gutted victim at your feet.

A smile set to spurting life,
a bath of warmth and tender flesh.
Intestines curled around your corpse,
engulfed inside demented fun.

The doors of death have closed their wings,
rasping breathing emanates.
Running, running, faster! RUN
quickly NOW THEY'VE GAINED ON YOU.

Trapped and doomed in endless clutches,
panic stricken--voices pound.
The will to live has lessened for
you've fallen and you've lost the game.

Morphine laced--such ghastly dreams,
a spray of blood through sacrifice.
A scalpel dragged across the throat
to end this schizophrenic life.

A SCHIZOPHRENIC MOMENT

To live within the mind of a schizophrenic is to know true fear!

A flash of shadow in the dark
Fleeing feet encased in dew
Winded from this reckless flight
Too fearful yet to stop and breath

Each shadow seems to hold a menace
Each hushed sound just renews the terror
But just ahead a place of refuge
And safety from this feel of dread

A bronze key rams into the lock
and hastily it opens
Behind the slammed door finally
The ragged breaths soon slow

But even here within this safety
The paranoia brings unease
As voices ring between her ears
And push against her senses

The food that was just purchased
Tastes tinged with something foreign
And water from the faucet
Has lost the clarity expected

She looks at all the pills that lay
Spilled out across the kitchen table
And thanks the Lord that she has learned
That they deliver poison

She sits all crumpled in a corner
Her eyes alert for any danger
Her mind awash with rampant thought
Too scared to move, from this small spot.

FEELING NUMB

I've lost who I was
I've become someone I hate
A monster
Someone I’m not
I fight the demons that I have inside
But the thoughts just won't subside
Every day that I wake up I wish that I hadn't
I don't know why these thoughts run through my head
I don't understand why I wish I was dead
I can't explain why I’ve been acting this way
I've been treating people wrong
And I don't know why
I can't sleep
Can’t eat
All I can do is cry
I'm dying slowly inside
Every day I have thoughts in my head
I have thoughts of taking pills just to numb the pain
Every day it rains inside my head
I try not to listen to the voices
Even though the voices say I should end it all
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to die
But truth is, I’m so scared to die
I think sometimes that if I was dead maybe people’s lives would be better if I was gone
It keeps playing over & over
This stupid song
It’s like a broken record
That keeps on skipping
And everyday I keep on wishing
Hoping that this will be the last
It has nothing to do with you
I'm just not happy with myself
No matter what you say
I’ll always think this is my fault
I’ll always blame myself
Hate who I am
Who I’ve become

I LET IT ALL DIE

I'm a lost, wandering soul
Numb and cold
Each day, old I grow
This should show
I try to let my troubles go
I keep it bottled up inside
My feelings I try to hide
My pain is not in disguise
I'm no longer wise

I hold my head down low
Realizing there's no where left for me to go
Slowly I hold my breath
Then try to breathe my troubles away
I have nothing left in me
I've lost it all today
There's just nothing else I can say
Some things will never change
It had to be this way

The pain inside
I try to hide
It makes me want to die
I used to feel so alive
But I really don't try
I let it all die
And I don't know why

The truth of the matter is
That its always been this way
I tried to survive each day
I was at war with myself
At war with my mind
I was someone you couldn't find
I was very troubled
And still am
Living with a dark cloud above me
But no one can see

Standing in cold November rain
As I'm screaming in the night
I've lived every day with so much pain
So much fright
I'm slowly losing sight
I'm now forever doomed with this immortality
Lost touch with reality
Slowly a little at a time
Can't seem to ease my troubled mind

The pain inside
I try to hide
It makes me want to die
I used to feel so alive
But I really don't try
I let it all go
As I fade away
I let it all die
And I don't know why

I followed the music in my heart
A melody is where it usually starts
The music eases my mind
Now that I've got all the time
The music I shall follow
Then I won't feel so hollow

I used to be so free and alive
Now I've died inside
I just try to hide
So much pain and sadness
All the unhappiness
Didn't mean to let it die
Now all I want to do is cry
And I really don't know why

The pain inside
I try to hide
It makes me want to die
I used to feel so alive
But I really don't try
I let it all go
As I fade away
I let it all die
And I don't know why

Cut myself to see it bleed
Strawberry gashes for you to see
Adrenaline rush
Like I'm high on weed
Fucked up on speed
I'm flying indeed
Cos I have the need

I have died
All I want to do is hide
I'm screaming inside
Screaming so loud
But no one can hear me
No one can see
Can't see my pain
I'm stuck out in the rain

The pain inside
I try to hide
It makes me want to die
I used to feel so alive
But I really don't try
I let it all go
As I fade away
I let it all die
And I don't know why

DAMAGED

People will usually hurt you in an attempt to heal themselves.
But I am not a band aide, I cannot heal others pain.
It's like once I've been hurt, I'm so scared to get attached again.
Because I have this fear that every person I start to like is going to break my heart, just like all the ones before did.
I was beyond damaged.
I was broken like an arrow.
Smashed into bloody pieces.
I was alone in the world without the one person who could make me whole again.
And I always would be.

DO I BELIEVE IN LOVE

I was once asked if I believed in love
and with a sad smile I said, "It's my most elaborate method of self harm."
Sometimes to stay alive I have to
kill my mind
Because if not, my thoughts
will drive me insane
I'll scream a maddening cry
that'll make even you go deaf
I have to cut off my thoughts
shut down my brain
before I go insane
This is all too much for me to take in
I can't repair the damage done
so this is where it ends

As I Walk Into My Dark Forest

Today my forest is dark
The trees are sad
And all the Butterflies
have broken wings
I walk through the forest
alone with my thoughts
Step by step in the dark
to clear my head & mind
I walk with my demons
because they are all I really have
Alone in this world
I shall walk alone
Because it's my destiny
Alone in the dark forest
I seek no other's company
But my own

WE DIE ALONE

There's someone in my head
but it's not me
They wanted a monster
I'm going to give them one
My biggest problem,
I notice everything
I feel everything
I felt so much
that I started to feel nothing
You're just another love story
I can't tell
And there's a reason
why I keep it all inside
We come alone
and alone we will die

Schizophrenia, The Voices in My Head

Schizophrenia, a haunting refrain
Voices in my head, a constant strain
A mind divided, a soul in pain
Mental illness, difficult to explain

The whispers follow me in every place
A chorus of madness, an endless race
Their words a twisted, disjointed space
My thoughts, a tangled, chaotic trace

I try to silence them, to make them go
But they persist, always in tow
The harder I push, the louder they grow
A cacophony of madness, a harrowing show

I am not alone, in this struggle I share
With others whose minds are equally impaired
We band together, in our own little lair
A community of misfits, who understand and care

Schizophrenia, a burden to bear
But with support and love, we can repair
Our broken selves, and learn to coexist with the snare
Of the voices in our heads, and mental illness' glare.

ADHD MIND

The mind races like a train
But sometimes it can be a pain
ADHD is no small plight
It can be a struggle day and night

The thoughts don't slow, they don't cease
The mind feels like it's under siege
Focusing becomes a hard chore
Mental illness is knocking on the door

It's a challenge to stay on task
The attention span is just a mask
But with proper care and medication
There's hope for a better situation

The mind can find its balance again
And the chaos can come to an end
With patience, love and support
ADHD and mental illness can't hold us in their fort

Together we can stand tall
And overcome it all
With the power of a strong community
We'll rise above and claim our opportunity.

ADHD, PILLS & MY ANXIETY

ADHD, always on the run
Pills, just trying to have some fun
Anxiety, the constant fear and worry
Mental illness, our minds can be so blurry

The pills may help us focus for a while
But anxiety can still leave us in denial
Living with ADHD can be a struggle
Mental illness can make our minds juggle

But we keep fighting and pushing through
Hoping one day we'll have a break through
With therapy, medication, and support
We can find a way to navigate this sort

So let’s embrace our differences and quirks
And never let our battles overshadow our perks
With strength and courage, we'll overcome
ADHD, pills, anxiety, and mental illness, one by one.

For more of my Poetry click the link

Aiden Kirchner Poetry